If Nothing Else
by kikira-san
Summary: this is one my selection of random things i write about Hiei so i won't have so many stories. stupid sorta killed Hiei i might bring him back. R
1. Default Chapter

A/N: I don't own YYH or anything related  
  
Step. Step. She looks down at me. A small sad smile on her face as she rocks me. They think I cannot understand what is going on but I know. I know what is about to happen.  
  
Step. Step. We are going farther and farther away. Down the hallway past the doors. She doesn't think I remember her practically begging to go with me so I wouldn't be alone. I know where I am where I was then.   
  
Step. Step. I know these are wards, not blankets. I am aware of what they do. I have tried struggling and burning. They failed so I know what they are able to do to me. I remember another with me but I have not seen her. I ponder to myself if I really have a sister. However the coming event seems to make the thoughts pointless after all I won't be alive much longer.  
  
Step. Step. We are out of the house now. We are going down toward the mob of people waiting at the cliff edge. I am cold out here. I can't even use my energy to warm me. My mother holds me closer. I don't know if it was because I was cold or sadness out of what was about to happen.   
  
Step. Step. She looks at me now. Her feet guide her slowly and she trusts them to take us to the destination without a mishap. Her face is so warm, not like the ice around us. She smiles at me once really. A bright happy smile not the small one she used to cheer me. I feel my own face move in an answering smile. I was safe here with her. If only for a moment.  
  
Step. Step. We near the edge. A woman comes up to us. She is going to take me away. In my current position fighting is pointless. My mother smiles at me now once again but not happy just a sad smile to keep me calm. The woman takes me away from her arms. They don't see me try to hold my arms out to my mother. I don't want to go over the edge. I want to be with my mother.   
  
Step. Step. The woman carrying me smiles at me with a sad smile as well. I can hear the jeers of the others. I know what they say. What it means. They curse my existence. I have no idea what I am. Am I really what they say?  
  
Step. Step. We have reached the edge. I move my head to look back at my mother. My eyes I know were impossibly wide. She is fighting off the two women holding her trying to get back to me. I wish she could succeed. However I doubt she will. I concentrate on the women in front of me. She asks me to seek vengeance. I seek safety with my mother. She hands me a tear gem telling me it was my mother's. I force my hand out to take it. I will have this if nothing else.  
  
Then she dropped me.   
  
A/N: should I continue? 


	2. Chapter 2

Kikira-san: *sigh*  
  
Kurama: procrastinator  
  
Kikira-san: I know! I'm sorry! I am half way done with the third chappie of CATUH (its initials duh!)  
  
Hiei: liar!  
  
Kikira-san: !! No really!!  
  
Kurama: Hiei just do the disclaimer so she'll get back to doing what she is supposed to be doing.   
  
Kikira-san: *cough yeah right cough*  
  
Hiei: she doesn't own us, YYH, or anything related.   
  
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Well here we are. Sitting against a tree. I would be sitting in the tree but my body is basically crying out against all movement. I reach carefully into the tattered remains of my cloak and draw out a cigarette. Not one of the ningien kinds. It's a Makai cigarette. Twice as bad and much sweeter. I stuck it into my mouth and concentrate on lighting it on fire with the last of my ki.   
  
To an outsider, hell to anybody, it probably would have looked pretty funny. I was sitting there covered in blood, my clothes tattered remains of a fight, surrounded by dead bodies, my eyes crossed staring at the end of a cigarette trying to light it. Of course the first three things would have made most pity me. Agh I hate pity. Complete waste of my time and their's. Wise people avoid what causes undo trouble. However that is simply not how anyone is. This may seem stupid to everyone else. Thinking about something completely pointless when I am sitting here dying of blood loss. However I prefer it to blindly fearing what I don't even know.   
  
I asked not to be reincarnated. I went to Koenma. He said that if I wasn't I might have to spend the rest of my after life in hell. I'm supposed to decide about that. I just let it go. It's weird when you think about it. My life really was hell. I won't go into boring details. Wouldn't it be better to get a new one. No not for me. I don't assume what I did in a past life to get this one. I am not afraid of another life. Or I don't believe I am. Feelings can be hidden so deeply its hard to recognize their original form. I'm just so tired. I'd rather be with my mother. I suppose she might be in hell for committing suicide. I would like to be with her.   
  
I have considered what would happen if I died and didn't come back. Yukina would be in danger. However I doubt that I would even know her in a new form. I make no hopeful guesses on us being twins. Who knows how deep reincarnation cuts? So I asked for hell. Koenma didn't give me an affirmative of negative. He just had my file pulled and sent me away. I hate the way he does that, but it is his job I can respect that if not him.   
  
I honestly don't know why I am bothering to think about this. They're going to find me and bring me back to life anyway. The Rekai Tantei is so good at missions that don't really matter. Sighing bitterly I tossed the cigarette and search for another.   
  
I can sense three ki's and hear three voices crying out my name. I shrink back in the shadows when I see Botan fly over. I don't want to be found just yet. I found another cigarette I'd rather smoke it first. I rarely ever smoke now. If they find out they'd probably have a long blabber about it. If I live.   
  
I'd think about the others and how I felt about them. But it should be obscenely obvious and if it isn't that just how I felt like expressing myself. I doubt it matters now.  
  
I wonder if my father is dead. I hope so. Then I can beat his ass! Damn bastard. He didn't have to be their for me. He should have been their for Hina and Yukina. I wonder if you can feel pain when your dead. I can only assume so considering the ghosts that we have beaten.   
  
I feel surprisingly cold. I can't use my ki to warm me. I'm basically using my life force to light my last cigarette.   
  
My coherent thought is leaving to. I can't even keep a steady train of thought.   
  
I think one of the youki's raped me. I could be wrong. More likely it's just childhood memories coming back to haunt me. Oh yes childhood! Don't we all wish we could go back? Now I'm developing a sense of humor. Well it doesn't matter I see three blurry forms coming toward me and Botan is hovering above my tree. I'd shake my fist at her but I'm too tired. Besides this was my last cigarette.   
  
Oh look everything's going dark. What impeccable timing.  
  
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Hiei: you're twisted on so many levels  
  
Kikira-san: ^-^ I know  
  
Kurama: well u managed to mention every sad aspect of Hiei you could think of along with your own ideals for a truly horrid story  
  
Kikira-san: I'm so proud of me!  
  
Hiei: I hate u  
  
Kikira-san: I know  
  
A/N: FLAME ME DAMMIT! PLEASE!!! FLAME ME! IT SUCKED ASS I KNOW!! FLAME! OR REVIEW BUT U SHOULD REALLY JUST FLAME ME! 


End file.
